This past month has been a difficult time in which I am finding hard putting my finger on what exactly is the cause of my discouragement? It has come to my attention that I am no longer passionate about many things and this is hindering me from ever completing any creative projects I undertake. Without motivation I find myself lacking any desire to be creative. For most of my career as a Graphic Designer, my motivation has been to please others.; clients, employers, agencies, etc. This boils down to the fact that I’m only really doing anything because I’m getting paid for it and not because I find joy in doing it. I find there is little satisfaction in this and you will not find a soul in the world that would say their passion is in receiving a pay cheque at the end of each month. My motivation then needs to come from a different place.

I’ve started to paint again for the sake of painting. Of not trying to be impressive, rather I felt the need to take up a paintbrush once again and begin to partake in making something beautiful. Something more for myself to be pleased with. My first subject has been tulips with it’s simple shape, I’m able to draw it quickly and start experimenting with different line and colour. Things that have lied dormant for such a long time, are starting to resurface. How a subject is rarely painted with just the one shade of colour, instead a red tulip consist of shades of yellow, brown, orange, purple, blue, green not just red. It is this simple act of picking up a paint brush that has stirred up forgotten feelings. A little bit of passion is creeping in. I’m getting excited about doing something, anything, just for myself. Something that will be completely unique to me, of  my own creation.

back to the top